So, today I have been constantly instant messaged by one of my “friends” who is now apparently engaged in a blog war with another acquaintance (of his and a little bit of mine, well, he once told me I was wearing a nice shirt but it could do with more epaulettes) over who has the funniest blog.
As I only just started mine and haven’t thought of anything funny to say at all yet, I am keeping well out of it, mainly by refusing to dress like a rabbit or post pictures of myself with any celebrities.
I did spend the weekend with Andy Rourke though, and oooo, the larks we had.
So, the axeman cometh in the shape of the slightly unloveable, and very unloved, Guy Hands – a one man ego felling talent squasher and harbringer of doom for the record industry. It’s quite funny watching various frightened managers feeling the benefit of his publicity machine (including the brilliant “robbie is going to be paving roads” wheeze he has pulled with the NME) but not even his sterling imitation of Ron Decline can avert your gaze from what’s really going on here: The record industry is fucked beyond recognition, and serve them jolly well right too.Amidst all the squealing about piracy, DVDs, attention spans and XBoxes, there’s a much simpler truth struggling to get out: The industry has, for a very very long time, peddled cack in a shiny wrapping and has now been caught out by it. You can’t seriously expect people to keep coming back for more when you keep shipping them a shit sandwich.
You can nearly see the anger in his eyes as his lovingly crafted 72mm widescreen SDDS tale of two lesbians eating their own eyeballs whilst HP Lovecraft knits a cardigan is reduced to 4 inches of “content”.
Content is the new buzzword hitting an iBoxtouchscreenMPbit player near you right now. It means something that used to be made by somebody with an artistic skill that can now be replicated at fascinatingly low quality levels by an 8 year old with their Xmas stocking filler.
Enthusiastic consumer’s of the World of Davyd will be aware that previous attempts to start a blog floundered due to my inability to focus. In the spirit of the New Year being a new beginning, and inspired by the jaunty half musings of some other misanthropes, this is a new blog. This one may get updated, you never know.
Rules:
1. Just because I posted it on a blog, don’t mean that I actually did it, or that I believe in it, or if I say it that I am actually gonna do it…. and if you believe that, hey, I’ll shoot you too (please repeat the preceding in a Detroit accent)
2. I fully intend to nick stuff from other people with better taste than me and pretend I found it. If you want a proper blog from somebody who’s done a bit of research, sign up to Charlie Brooker’s or Graham Linehan’s.
3. I have a tendency to say things just to be contrary, except I never do that.
4. If you’re easily offended or related to me, it’s probably best to look away now.
